(Photo courtesy of clutch points)
Let the gifs begin, my friends
The 2018 playoffs are here. It’s that time of year when you forget to text back. When you turn down a later afternoon session of pick-up. When you buy McDonalds for dinner because cooking one would interfere with tip-off. All of this is due to the NBA Playoffs. With intensity revved up, highlights are sure to come. So, which players NEED to get turned into posters this postseason?
5. John Wall
I like the guy, sure. The Wizards drew a tough first round match up and Wall is going to do his thing. But something just screams “Humble Him!” about this man. Is it his looming 37 million dollar per year contract extension? Is it the fact that his teammates have thrown super shade at him multiple times this year? Perhaps its his overall braggadocios attitude. Regardless, Demar needs to jam on him, ASAP. Don’t get me wrong, I want Wall to have a great series however, he needs to come back down to Earth a little and regain those fans that rocked with him during his Kentucky days. Please, for all of your fans out there, get dunked on, good sir.
4. Kevin Durant
KD is due. Firstly, he disrespected us #Blogbois. Sorry for loving the game, KD. I guess fans don’t have a right to say what that want about Durant, unless it is positive things of course. Secondly, this guy should be HATED by the majority of fans. His role as a villain is underplayed. He watered down overall competition of the League. The Warriors have been so good since he joined that some games are legitimately boring. Why doesn’t Durant land at number one? The man has already been dunked on this year plenty of times. Do yourself a favor and Google “Durant Lakers dunk.” Enjoy. But until then…get dunked on, good sir.
3. Playoff Rondo
What’s your deal, Rajon? Throughout the regular season, you throw up not-pedestrian-but-not-good stats. Your teams sneak into the playoffs. Your defense is non-existent. But once the postseason hits…Boom. Regular season Rondo gets dropped harder than 5th period Chemistry. And who comes out to play? Some version of Rondo who dropped 44 on the Lebron and co. during the 2012 playoffs. But this is your penance, Mr. Rondo. How selfish of you to make NBA fans wait until the postseason to catch glimpses of your stardom! Play hard all the time, dammit! It is time for you to go to NBA confession. Say two Hail Mary’s, one Our Father, and get dunked on, good sir.
2. Ricky Rubio
The hair. The chippiness. The accent. The dimes. Sometimes I love Rubio more than I love looking at my alarm clock and realizing that still have 2 hours left to sleep. Trust me, that’s saying something. The Spaniard let me down, however. In his first playoff game EVER, Rubio went 5-18 from the floor. Sure, some guys miss shots. That’s basketball. But this dude was shooting flamethrower, line drive shots at the rim. He got Westbrook. Russell baits opponents into playing at his frantic pace, guards defending him often find themselves hoisting up shots they otherwise would not. What’s worse, Spida Mitchell is out there playing on one foot and Rubio couldn’t stop spraying shots all over the rim. One foot! The only Rubio I hate more than Ricky right now, is Marco. To get back in my good graces…get dunked on, good sir.
1. Manu Ginobili
I know, this one hurts me too. The penultimate Spur, Ginobili has been defying the odds for a while now. The guy still gets up and slams it down on fools. He is the Spurriest Spur to ever Spur, in my humble opinion. So, why Ginobili? It’s all your fault, Kawhi. This is karma, plain and simple. Having been cleared by team doctors, we have zero idea why Leonard isn’t playing. NBA fans everywhere should be pissed. The Claw is appearing more and more like The Coward. If you can play, play. Instead, Kawhi decided to forsake his team. Want to know how mad I am? I just used the word “forsake.” How is this Karma going to come back around? Ginobili has to be the victim. There are actions to your consequences, Mr. Leonard. It is cosmically written in the stars, that the Spurriest Spur of all has to be the one to get sacrificed. I hate to say it but Manu, get dunked on, good sir.